whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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