i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
