I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I have already put on my inside pants.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
