I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Randomize
