I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
