I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
