Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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