You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
