I showed him my bush... on skype.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
