I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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