I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
