weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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