Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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