I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
