Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
