She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
