Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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