Say something about gay babies.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
