I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
