i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
