just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
