Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
