they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
