One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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