her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
