Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
