This is not my ceiling
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
i drank out of a bidet.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
