HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
then he tried to convert me to islam
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize
