I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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