There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Randomize
