Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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