Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
