I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
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