Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(719): View more from Colorado

then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.

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(602): View more from Arizona

no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.

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(510): View more from California

stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work

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(330): View more from Ohio

apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn

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(561): View more from Florida

This is the prime rib incident all over again

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".

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(214): View more from Texas

I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.

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(360): View more from Washington

Your youporn search history says otherwise.

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