I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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