Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
