You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
