I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
