Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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