You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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