I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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