I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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