UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize
