You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
