how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
