tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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