this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
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