I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
