and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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