It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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